The Strong Bond Between Carl CederstrM and Rachel Mohlin The German Couple Everyone is Talking About

Facebook Icon The letter F. Facebook Email icon An envelope. It indicates the ability to send an email. Email Twitter icon A stylized bird with an open mouth, tweeting. Twitter Snapchat icon A ghost. Snapchat Fliboard icon A stylized letter F. Flipboard Pinterest icon The letter P styled to look like a thumbtack pin. Pinterest Link icon An image of a chain link. It symobilizes a website link url. Copy Link

Whether you're a superfan of the series or you believe that Friends was problematic , it's hard to deny the impact the sitcom had in the '90s and continues to have via syndication and streaming .

The

Some fans use the show as inspiration for their clothing style , home-decor choices, haircut decisions, and yes, their relationships. After all, who can forget the series' famous lines like We were on a break and He's her lobster?

Board Of Directors

Spoke with Bukky Kolawole , a couple's therapist and licensed clinical psychologist to find out what relationship lessons viewers can actually learn from Friends.

It's better to be vulnerable than to react out of fear and insecurity, especially when it comes to relationships with those close to you.

Friends has been both hailed and critiqued for its portrayal of Ross' relationship with his ex-wife Carol and her new wife Susan.

Pr Abbott, Carmeta.

Although the show was one of the first network shows to depict a wedding between two people who identify as women, there are countless examples of Ross' homophobic and sexist views throughout the series, particularly in how he navigates co-parenting with Carol and Susan.

In another instance, he agrees to co-parent with Carol and Susan but doesn't want his son playing with a Barbie doll because it's too girly.

By constantly reacting out of his insecurities and fears regarding his masculinity, Ross was giving acting in homophobic and sexist ways while also damaging his relationship with his child's mother.

Friends' Ross And Rachel Gets Analyzed By Professional Therapists

It is possible for Ross to have agreed to co-parent with Carol and Susan while still holding homophobic and [sexist] beliefs and therefore behaving in a homophobic and sexist manner, Kolawole said.

She said Ross could've been a better co-parent and friend to Carol if he'd owned his homophobia and been open and vulnerable about how her coming out and pursuing a new relationship made him feel.

The crux of Friends is Ross and Rachel's relationship and season three's The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break sets up one of the series' most famous callback lines — We were on a break.

Aps Science 2007

Like the on-screen couple, Friends fans often disagree about what on a break means and whether or not it was OK for Ross to sleep with someone else during that break.

Ross and Rachel were so focused on which one of their definitions of on a break was the right one that they missed the opportunity to heal their relationship.

If they had been willing to give up whose definition was right and engaged in the more vulnerable and therefore more courageous way ... they could have worked together to save and restore their relationship, potentially even [making] it stronger, Kolawole told .

Full Article: Brand Value: How Affective Labour Helps Create Brands

In most of their arguments, Ross and Rachel focus on what's being communicated on the surface instead of the emotional messages or deeper meanings behind it.

She said we oftentimes do this because it requires less vulnerability to focus on surface-level arguments than it does to engage in difficult conversations about our emotional needs.

Because Ross and Rachel were stuck focusing on the content of the communication and unfortunately did not know how to tune into the deeper, underlying, emotional message being communicated, they missed the opportunity to help each other in a catastrophic moment for the relationship where they were each struggling emotionally, Kolawole told .

Ross And Rachel' Moments From Friends That Already Proved They Had An Amazing Chemistry

She said that couples can avoid this trap by tuning in emotionally during an argument and finding out what the true problem is.

In the situation of Ross and Rachel's infamous on a break argument, she was dealing with the hurt of his betrayal and he was dealing with feelings of shame for hurting the woman he loved.

Had the two focused on those feelings rather than the surface-level details of their fight, they may not have broken up in the first place.

The Times Leader 04 10 2011

In addition to being vulnerable and willing to give up being right, Ross and Rachel may have avoided the pain of being on a break had they previously discussed their expectations regarding fidelity.

It is critical that partners in intimate relationships not only talk explicitly, but also continuously about their desires, beliefs, and values around monogamy, interpretations of fidelity, and what constitutes betrayal, said Kolawole.

In addition to outlining each partner's expectations regarding fidelity, it's also important to decide in advance what each person should do if they begin to feel differently about the agreement or if they've broken it.

Pdf)  “typical Norwegian: The D'aulaires' Imagined And Imaginary Landscapes,” In Story Time: Essays On The Betsy Beinecke Shirley Collection Of American Children's Literature, Ed. Timothy Young. New Haven: Yale Up (2016):

Although these conversations can be difficult to have, Kolawole told that it is important for couples to talk about these topics because avoidance is what sets couples up for hurt and can result in painful consequences.

Before entering into a relationship with someone much older or younger than you, evaluate whether you and your partner are equipped to handle the challenges a big age difference may bring.

When Monica started dating Richard, a man 21 years older than her, she dealt with a lot of issues and complications related to the pair's age gap.

Melissa & Joey (tv Series 2010–2015)

These things may have been avoided if the two had first had an honest conversation about the possible issues related to dating someone much younger or older.

Ultimately, Kolawole said in situations like these it is most important to explore each person's ability to navigate the complexities of a large age difference prior to beginning the relationship.

Ross

Talk about how the age difference will affect your relationship's power dynamic, how it might impact some people in your lives, and how you will approach inevitable developmental tasks together.

The Biggest Relationship Lessons You Can Learn From Watching Friends

In the case of Monica and Richard, they failed to discuss important topics, including whether or not they would consider having children together.

This ultimately caused the end of their relationship, as Monica wanted to be a mother and Richard felt he'd already closed the book on that chapter of his life.

They went into their initial romantic attraction and eventual marriage with a solid underlying relationship which gave them better insight into each other.

Times Higher Education Summer Reads 2017

According to Kolawole, for these reasons, being friends with someone before you enter into a romantic relationship with them can certainly be a great thing.

As long as there is a physical attraction, you can probably cultivate a sexual bond with someone you’ve previously been just friends with — it may just take some time.

Rachel and Joey may have been able to get past their lack of sexual chemistry if both of them were patient. NBC

Daniel R. Engstrom's Research Works

Although Monica and Chandler had luck in their journey from friends to married couple, when Joey and Rachel tried to pursue a romance, they weren't able to connect sexually due to their feelings of being too good of friends.

Kolawole said she doesn't believe you can create sexual chemistry, but she does believe that a physical attraction to someone you've previously been platonic with could mean the possibility of something more.

Once a physical attraction is there, she said that it can be cultivated and the energy between people can be changed from friends to something more. It may just take some time.

Nwht_2016 06 10 By Shaw Media

When handling issues with in-laws and family members not accepting your partner, it's important to engage in open communication with your significant other and to make an effort to protect your relationship.

There are various instances throughout Friends where in-laws or other members of the family get in the way of a relationship's progress.

Monica's parents don't like Chandler because they think he got Ross high in college, Rachel's dad and Ross dislike each other throughout much of the series, and Mike's parents are appalled by Phoebe's free spirit.

The Politics Of Consumption

But when it comes to navigating family issues, the best thing to do is to maintain open, honest communication with your partner and those closest to you.

Kolawole said that although we may not always believe our family's approval is a factor in our relationships, it often can be because people are hardwired to care about people's approval, particularly our parents.

To avoid this negatively impacting you and your significant other's bond, she said couples must set each other up for success by protecting their relationship and being responsive to their partner's concerns.

Name Aalders, Lorrie Abbot, Kristin A Abney ...

Some couples on Friends broke up because of their inability to overcome major differences in their relationship, but this wasn't always the case.

Phoebe and Mike are a great example of a pair who could find a happy medium despite having pretty different views about their future.

Friends'

When couples not only love each other but are both committed to showing themselves, seeing each other and being there for each other, they are able to offer acceptance to each other, change their perceptions of the issue, [and] increase emotional tolerance/flexibility for what is difficult, she said. Most importantly, they are able to get creative in identifying solutions.